Confession

So I have a confession to make. I know confessions are usually reserved as a conversation between a person and a clergy or a person and God. But in this case I am confessing on my blog.
My confession is this:
The past couple of days I have been mopping around mad at myself and the world. I am not quite sure why. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I have no idea what I am doing with my life right now. No direction. And trying to figure it out on my own is the pits.
My jobs end in August, I thought I had a plan after that but now I don’t know what I am doing. I could go in so many directions.
So I guess my true confession is that I have been a self seeking, narrow minded, prideful wandering fool. (If this exist, I am that)

It was not until last night at my weekly small group did I realize my sinful ways of the last week. We were discussing the Passion of the Christ and the significance of the movie to this Easter week.
And then it was when I realized that I had been so foolish. Why have I been acting this way?
Especially this week: Holy Week.
The week that we remember why Christ died on that cross upon Calvary. He died for our sins. For the sin you and I have and will commit. He suffered a great deal of pain on that cross. A pain that I could only imagine. A pain that I never want to experience. And there is me. Walling in my self pity. Trying to figure out a life that is not mine to figure out. Only God know that outcome at this point. He knows who my wife is, and when we will meet….
If we will have kids, and what their names are…..
Where I will live until I am old and grey…. And what day and time I will perish from this earth.
Yes it is my life, but it is not up to me what happens. I can only sit back and enjoy the ride.
The book I am currently reading talks a little about this, how God knows are plans and will provide for us.

Here is a great quote… the author is explaining the Lord’s Prayer:
Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as in heaven.
The author then paraphrases this into Jesus saying this:Look, you are going to want to do things your way, but your way isn’t the best for you. Trust me, I know what you need.
That is so amazing. Now if I can go through this week, and the weeks to comes, and the rest of my life remembering that I think I will be just fine.